A conversation on art and faith with Artist, Teresa Hill

I had the pleasure of meeting artist, Teresa Hill at "Alimento", an art show held at my current church, First Congregational Church of Los Angeles.  I was immediately drawn to one of her paintings, "St. Ty", 

a portrait of a "beatified" man holding an open pomegranate with bees buzzing around it.  

The painting held my attention because as a former Catholic, the light around his head and face, his upward gaze and the use of color... the reds and oranges and yellows... and the use of light and dark, reminded me of Renaissance paintings of saints.  This figure, "St. Ty" seemed to be in contemplation, which caused me to contemplate him... what was his story?  What was he contemplating?  He was wearing a red hoodie, set in modern times.  Why was he being portrayed as a saint? And what was the significance of the pomegranate and the bees?  What was the artist trying to say?

I stood in front of this painting for a long time, wrestling with what I didn't know and had no way to find out because there were NO ARTIST NOTES!!! (a pet peeve of mine) and in absolute frustration, I finally walked away. But I kept catching a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye because I was drawn to the rich colors... I loved the use of light and shadow... so warm and inviting to me.  

So as I'm turning away, trying to distract myself from this painting, a woman and her daughter walked up to me and started a conversation.  It's Teresa Hill, the artist who created the painting that so drew and perplexed me.  When I found out who she was, the first words out of my mouth were, "You're pomegranate guy!  Ok, so what's the deal with pomegranate guy!"  

As we talked, I found out that "St. Ty" is actually a portrait of her ex-husband, who used to be an animator for a well-known studio here in Los Angeles, and this is how she saw him... somewhat other-worldly, with a gift (the pomegranate).  However, there was also the ideas of both pollination (life) and danger that surrounded him and his gift (his artistry) represented by the bees.

I found our conversation really enlightening and so enjoyable, not to mention the fact that it relieved my frustration over her painting, that I told her about Ikthos, and asked to do an interview with her and graciously she agreed.

On December 19th, one week before Christmas, Teresa and  I met at Copa Vida, a coffee house in South Pasadena, California, to share coffee (for me, an elixir of life), conversation and thoughts on faith, her art and the meaning of life.  The conversation that follows, most of which you will be able to hear below, was an hour and forty-three minutes long, which I've condensed to an hour and twenty-three minutes (sorry that was the best I could do.  There's a lot of good stuff). 

"The Whistling"

The Hatchling"

We spoke about her take on her Southern Baptist background, or what she calls her "point of awakening", her interpretation of scripture, which can be seen throughout her work, where her faith journey has taken her outside of the Southern Baptist tradition and her views on life in general.  We discuss specifically, "The Whistling", "The Hatchling" and "Eve Revisited", a work currently in progress.

To my more traditional believers out there, I would ask that you listen to our conversation without judgment.  Teresa has gone beyond most of our comfort zones, but the echoes of what we were taught are still there.  I have to admit that I don't agree with all that she believes in, and that's perfectly ok.  We respect each other enough to listen to each other, which I believe is much needed in the body of Christ today and I know I grew from our conversation, as I believe she did as well.  We plan on speaking again.

I believe this is all a part of the journey Christ intended us to have as we each "run our own race".  She is running her race and I am running mine and maybe by sharing our stories of lessons learned, we can assist one another.  The body of Christ, "joint supplying joint."

Teresa Hill Interview

That City Upon A Hill...

With all that has been happening in our country, the United States... the shootings in Dallas, the nationwide protests... the social tensions that plague us as a nation... I have felt the need to look back at what we are about as a nation. To return to its beginnings. To try and remember why we are here in the first place... why we exist as a nation. And that brings me back to what John Winthrop called us in A Model on Christian Charity. We are intended to be “That city upon a hill”, but are we? Have we really ever lived up to our calling?

When Winthrop used that phrase, he was referring to the gospel of Matthew. The full quote from Matthew 5:14-16 reads:

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven”.

It was Winthrop's prayer that this nation would be a beacon of light to the world. A place were people could come and hear the Good News. A place were people could practice their Christian faith freely, without persecution from the state. A place where the individual could be a self-made man (or woman), free from the rigid social constraints of class conscience Europe. A place where you could own land and the government couldn't confiscate or occupy it at will (hence the 3^rd amendment which came later). A place where all men could be free to live a quiet and peaceable life. This unfortunately is not the America we live in today.

This year, in the month of July alone, There were at least 5 black women killed in police custody and according to the website, “Mapping Police Violence.com, there were at least 102 unarmed African Americans killed in police violence in 2015. That's approximately 2 a week. I don't believe this is the America Winthrop envisioned and it certainly isn't the land of the free or the home of the brave where we can all live a “quite and peaceable life”. [1Timothy 2:2]

Now I will be the first to admit, that not all of our Founding Fathers were as progressive as the document they wrote, which states that “...all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. ” There were some that didn't believe that the Africans they enslaved were human at all, which is one of the reasons we had a three fifths compromise... a compromise which violated the spirit of our Constitution... a compromise which never should have been made and unfortunately, a compromise we are still feeling the repercussions of. In God's economy, no one is three fifths God's creation... or three fifths his son or daughter and Christ did not die for three fifths of a soul or three fifths of the people, but “God so loved the WORLD (all of it and everyone in it) that He gave his only begotten Son, so that whosoever that believes on Him shall not parish, but have everlasting life.” [John 3:16]

Now this is not the first time we as a nation, have had problems living up to our better selves. Unfortunately, it took a civil war to correct the error of the three fifths compromise. It took the civil rights movement to correct the error of Jim Crow and the real question is what will it take to right our course in the current dark night of our nation's soul? One good thing about all of the turmoil we are currently experiencing is that it is bringing the poison of racism (and hopefully all the other “isms”) to light, so that we can be, once and for all purged of it and the love of God shed abroad in our hearts, so that we can truly be that shining city on a hill Winthrop envisioned.

Seeking "Church"

This past April, I celebrated my 49^th birthday. Not quite the big “50” but significant none the less and I wanted to do something special so I decided to take myself to London. It was my first trip abroad and I was really excited... excited for the adventure I was about to embark on... excited for seeing a new and different county, excited because I was traveling alone, something I love to do... to meander the streets finding new treasures... taking my time to take in the city.

One of my “must” stops was the Temple Church, which is the knight's Templar church that was featured in the DaVinci Code. I wanted to go there because I was looking for a connection to the early church... the first century church... because this church grew under such tremendously challenging circumstances. Crucifixion, being fed to the lions, mass murders and persecutions were par for the course for the early christian community. This is the reason the sign of the fish, the Ichthus, is used today to represent Christianity, because the ichthus was a sign used by persecuted believers to identify each other.

Drawing the sign of the fish in the dirt was a secret signal, known only to believers, that stood for Christ. It was a visual reference to Christ's miracles, Him multiplying two fish and five loaves, feeding five thousand [Jn. 6:10-13]... and then four thousand [Mark 8:1-9]... it was the only way for believers to safely reveal themselves to each other, and although I changed the spelling (someone else was using it) the ichthus, was the inspiration for this blog, “Ikthos”... a way for believers in The Way, believers in Christ, to identify one another and share their faith with one another in a safe space, where we can engage one another, nurture one another and truly be that “body fitly joined together, joint supplying joint” [Ephesians 4:16]

What I found among the effigies and stone and stain glass was a living church steeped in tradition. The majority of the service was sung, as the early church and even the Latin Roman Catholic mass was sung. The Temple Church was consecrated in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary on February 10, 1185AD by Heraclius, Patriarch of Jerusalem and has existed continuously. The feeling of history was palpable, however, I believe the service I attended, was very different than the services attended by the early christian believer.

The early church during Roman oppression, met in private homes, catacombs and as Justin Martyr replies to his interrogator Rusticus, the Roman Prefect, “Wherever it is each one’s preference or opportunity....” ¹ This was a church under seige... where being revealed as a member could get you put in prison, tortured, interrogated and ultimately killed... and yet it grew.

After Constantine “converted” (I'm not sure he converted to Christianity or if he converted Christianity for his own purposes), the reverse became true. If you didn't accept Christ, join the church (and at that time there was only one) and worship exactly as they said, you could be tortured and/or killed. If you dare have a difference of opinion or a unique experience that differed from what was taught to be the norm, you could literally loose your life. One would think we've come a long way... or have we?

There's much to be learned from the past. And although events and circumstances have changed our society... what we know and in many cases, what we as modern believers find important, the truth of the Gospel, the Good News, never really changes because people, the one constant throughout history, never change. We never loose the need to be loved, unconditionally. We have never and will never be perfect so we will always have a need to be perfected, and that is what the love of God, in the person of Christ Jesus does. He perfects that which concerns us. [Psalms 138:] In every way. In our body He heals, for he is the balm of Gilead. He gives sight to the blind and raises the dead. In our hearts, for he heals the brokenhearted and in our mind He frees us from fear by giving us the spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind” 2 Tim 1:7. And yet we have movements within modern Christendom, that want to make the church be more “seeker friendly” as if those who seek Christ today are really any different than those who sought Him when He walked the streets of Galilee. Zacchaeus, the short tax collector in Jericho who climbed the tree so he could see Jesus, didn't have any greater need to “see Jesus” than any other vertically challenged person would today, except Zacchaeus made the effort... he labored to “see”. And I don't believe Jesus responds to us today with any less graciousness or love than he did to Zacchaeus. If we make the effort, Jesus shows up, and He dines with us... he heals our hearts, stills our minds and nourishes our spirit... or at least that has been my experience.

Although, my visit to the Temple Church was special, something I'll remember, it was my experience at St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle that moved me to tears. I was there the week after Easter, and there was a very simple, very large cross with a large crown of thorns draped over the top, hanging over the alter. It looked like it had been created with builder's lumber, not artistic or polished or “beautiful” by any modern aesthetic, but more beautiful than anything in either church because it represented the love... what Christ was willing to do for us... what God was willing to sacrifice for us... God's labor of love for us. There is no need to make our faith any more “seeker friendly” because Christ has sought us. The work to get us to God is done. It is finished.

____________

¹Christianity Today, “Where Did Christians Worship?” by Christopher Haas. Issue 37

http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/issues/issue-37/where-did-christians-worship.html

What It Means To Be "Royal"

Hello everyone and Happy Holidays! I hope you had a blessed and merry Christmas and that you will have a blessed and prosperous new year!

Recently, I've had a couple of conversations on what it means to be “Royal”. Royalty has become a hot topic in modern culture. Prince William and Catherine, Dutchess of Cambridge, The recent wedding of Prince Carl Philip and Sofia Hellqvist and the recent royal nupitals in Monaco have gotten the whole world it seems, talking about royalty... what it means to be royal... the pomp and circumstance that comes with the title... the parties... the traveling... the state events... it seems the whole world is mesmerized by their glamorous lifestyle. Average, middle-class people are willing to go into great debt or go to great extremes to have a look of opulence, which they equate with being “royal”... to have a dress like Catherine or a hairstyle like Sofia or your pop star de jour. They will change their mannerisms, their look and occasionally their speech, all in an attempt to be like “royalty”. But are all the public events and pomp and circumstance what it really means to be “royal”?

Out of all the recent royal couples out there, I think I admire Prince William and Catherine the most, not because they are royalty, but because they appear to be very down to earth people. They take care of their children. Charles goes to work everyday just like any young husband and father. Catherine does her own grocery shopping, just like any other young wife and mother. They just happen to be heirs to one of the oldest, successive monarchies in the western hemisphere and yet doing “common”, everyday, mundane things, like doing your own grocery shopping, isn't beneath them... down to earth and in some ways, a little Christ-like.

Black's Law Dictionary defines “royal” as, “Of or pertaining to or proceeding from the king in a monarchical government” [ 6^th ed. p. 1330]. In the book of John, Chapter 17, Jesus “lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.

And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.” [Jn. 17:1-5] Jesus was asking God the Father, the First of the trinity, to restore him to the fullness of his divinity because his work was done.

Christ was and is and will always be the ultimate royal. He willingly cast off the fullness of his divinity, to take on flesh in the person of Jesus of Nazareth [Jn. 1:14], to become the son of Mary, a simple young girl and to be raised by Joseph, a simple carpenter [Lk 1:20]. He allowed himself to be subjected to all of what it means to be fully human... pain, loss, need, temptation, hunger, humiliation and ultimately death [Matt. 27:50] and only at the very end, at his most human point, did he ask, “My God my God, why have you forsaken me” [Matt. 27:46]. Christ is the ultimate royal in that he was willing to suffer the cross, all for his people... you and me... for the Kingdom of God.

This Christmas, as I sat in church singing Christmas carols and looking at the beautiful lights and decorations, I thought of the day the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she would give birth to a savior... I thought about the day Christ is born in a manger (not a palace)... I thought about the wise men who traveled to pay tribute to Christ, one of only two acts of pomp in his life (the other being Palm Sunday) and how simple and beautiful and awe-inspiring these moments are, and I wonder if we today have any real understanding of what it means to be royal at all.

God Is Not A Man!

"God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? " 

                                                                                              - Numbers 23:19

I was praying this scripture the other night, as I often do, because it is my habit of pray the Word of God back to God... not only as a point of covenant, but also as a reminder to myself of what promises, rights and privileges I have as a believer... as a citizen of the kingdom of God and also as a reminder of the eternal nature of God. I pray Numbers 23:19 almost every night, normally pausing at “... that he should lie”, because I find it comforting to know that God never lies... He might just be the only one who doesn't, but this night, I paused earlier in the verse at, “God is not a man” and I literally gasped when I said it because I got new revelation in that moment of utterance of what that phrase really means.

God is Not a man. He doesn't have any of the faults or weaknesses of mankind. His nature isn't flawed as man's is. He has none of the limitations of mankind. He is Omnipresent, Omniscient and Omnipotent. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways, [Isaiah 58:8] therefore he doesn't lie or make mistakes or go back on His word. His Word is settled in Heaven [Psalms 119:8] and heaven and earth shall pass away, but His word will never pass away. [Matthew 24:35]. God is a spirit, and those of us who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth [John 4:24] and even though I knew all of this before, and have prayed this scripture hundreds of times before, in that moment, at that time, it expanded in my heart. It literally took my breath away.

God is immense and endless. He has no beginning and no end. How easy it is for me, with my finite mind and my finite life, to forget, or not fully understand just who it is I'm speaking to when I pray. His BIGNESS!!! (I would scream it on this page if I could) in contrast to my smallness, is wondrous and beautiful to me... it makes me feel safe and happy and excites me... it makes my heart sing. It gives me peace to know that what ever matter I bring to Him in prayer, it is handled. I can leave it with Him in confidence, knowing that He is well able to handle it. That there is nothing too hard for God. That there is no matter too irrelevant for God... nothing too small, nothing too great. That he is “Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha-olam” Lord God, King of the Universe... the ONE who set the stars in the sky and created all the planets and put them in their rotation. The ONE who created every living thing... from the smallest to the greatest (including me)... and He is the ONE I am speaking to when I cry “Abba Father”. [Romans 8:15]

That one thought, of God not being a man, took away all of my anxiety, all my fear and put my heart in perfect peace. I breathed a sigh of relief, chuckled to myself and just began to praise Him... for being Him, knowing that I am His, engraved on the palm of His hand [Isaiah 49:16] and that nothing... no not any thing can separate me from His love [Romans 8:39]

What is "Black"?

A while back, I was having a conversation with a co-worker.  We were discussing ethnicity... he being Jewish and me being African American, and when I mention to him that I had other blood besides African, he looked at me and said somewhat dismissively, "Felicia, you're Black" as if that were the sum total of my existence... as if he somehow knew exactly what that meant.  I as an African American don't completely know what that means and it is not the same experience for every American of African descent.  Personally, I don't think there is one definitive answer, but a colllection of answers based on an individual's African ancestry, what part of this country their family is from, their socio-economic background and what community influences, and not just Black, have taken root in their family.  Did you grow up in an homogeneous environment?  Did you grow up Protestant or Catholic or Budhist or Muslim or Atheist?  How political was your family?  Was race a topic of conversation or was it just that unmentionable thing you dealt with individually, but didn't dare acknowledge, in an attempt to be "just like everyone else".  

The reality is, as Americans of African descent, we're not "just like everyone else".  We're not even just like other African Americans because collectively, we are made up of such a large genetic pool.

I just recently got my DNA tested and was suprised to find out just how mixed I actually am.  According to Ancestry.com, I am 82% African and 18% White.  What I found interesting was how inconclusive the terms "African" and "White" really are.  

As you can see in my results above, "Africa" , or rather my Africa, is represented with a total of eight different countries.  All of which have different cultures and languages and customs and bloodlines with different biological and genetic traits. "Africa" is no more singularly Black than "Europe" is singularly White. And what I found here is just the tip of the iceberg.

I was referred by one of my new-found cousins, to another site called, GEDmatch, which takes the DNA results I got from Ancestry.com, and cross-references them with global DNA databases that are being compiled by researchers from around the world.  These databases are more specific to region and ethnicity, and gives a more specific view of where my DNA came from.

When  I uploaded my DNA to GEDmatch, I found that in addition to the eight African countries found by Ancestry.com, I can add North Africa, which could include any of the countries in the horn of Africa (the Omotic peoples) and Eastern Bantu, which may include Tanzania and/or Kenya.  

In short, I'm kind of a sampling of the continent of Africa... a mixture of many different countries and cultures... an African gumbo with the main flavor being West African, but definitely not limited to that region.  But is that what it means to be "Black" and is being "Black"the same as being "African" or  "African American"?  

As an American, with African and European ancestry, I think about this question alot.  Although I'm medium brown-skinned, I've never felt completely accecpted in the Black community.  When I say "Black", I mean a community of mostly African Americans. I've been called, oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside) wannabe, too proper (you'd think that was  compliment, but it really isn't), uppity and as a child, those terms were very hurtful.  I've always felt more comfortable in a more ethnically mixed environment.  I'm not saying that I wasn't called names there, it's just that I understood why... my difference was more obvious.When I was younger, this caused me to be socially awkward and as an adult, socially cautious.    I've always said that my phenotype doesn't display all that is in my genotype.   I never understood why some blacks found me so different... that is, until now... and I've only discussed my African ancestry.

People tend to forget that African-Americans, meaning the descendants of African slaves brought to this country by whites, are a very unique group of people.  Of course, other countries throughout the world bought African slaves, but few of them had  as diverse a mixature of other ethnicites as the United States.  In England, the Africans who did mix with whites, only had English and maybe some Scottish and Irish to mix with.  In France, they only had the French.  In Germany, Germans. In South and Central America, mostly Spanish and indigenious peoples.  But in the United States, there were English, Irish, Scottish, French, Dutch, German, Spanish, Native Americans and Jewish (I'm 2% Jewish). All these groups were involved in the slave trade (foreign and/or domestic) and all of these groups owned slaves here in the United States.

When I look at my European ancestry, my genetic portrait becomes even more complex.  In addition to the four main white groups found in my Ancestry.com DNA results, I can add peoples from the North Sea, Baltic, Eastern European, Western Mediterranean and Atlantic regions of the world

  Factor in Asia (yes I've got that too)

and this doesn't even include my archaic DNA, which includes ancient DNA from Siberia, Hungary and Montana (yes, North American) which would suggest Native American ancestry, but that doesn't show up in any of the other results... go figure!

After reviewing just MY OWN DNA, you can see why defining what "Black" is, for me anyway,  might be just a little more difficult than some might imagine... and more difficult for African Americans than blacks in other parts of the world.

Now back to the question I asked at the beginning of this post, "What is Black"?  For me, the answer is all of this.  I feel no need to ignore (I do lean toward some of it more than others... but that's just natural selection, right?) any of the DNA found here.  I've recognized traits from almost all of these groups, and had friends from many of these groups.  I have always considered myself multicultural and enjoyed learning about peoples from all over the world and have been blessed to go to school with people from many of these cultures from a very early age.  Now, I can contribute my ease and preference for dealing with people from other cultures to my DNA to some extent, but my personal reason has always been my faith.

I grew up Catholic in Chicago, IL in the 1970's and attended Catholic schools that were very ethnically diverse.  One school in particular, Holy Name Cathedral, I used to call the little UN.  In my 3rd grade class of 17, we had students from at least 6 other countries and all socio-economic backgrounds... from diplomat's kids to kids from the projects and I landed a little lower than middle.  We all kept up with current affairs, played the Eyewitness News game, and talked politics over lunch.  I was there for 3 years, from 3rd to 5th grade and of all the elementary schools I attended (a total of 5), Holy Name was my favorite.  As diverse as our backgrounds were, we all shared the same guiding principles... the tenets of Christianity... To love God with our whole heart, soul and being, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. [Matthew 22:37 & 39]  We didn't always get it right, but it was our standard... the bar we were expected to reach. It was not an option and I thank God for that... that experience and that bar because it has forever shaped the person I am today.

So maybe the better question me is "Who am I? This is a question I can answer a with greater certainty.  I'm an old Catholic school girl who grew up to be a Congregationalists woman... because my faith comes first.  I'm an American of African, European and Asian descent with global influences.  I'm a woman of color, an artist, writer and woman faith, who has shared my faith, prayed for, cried for and led many in a prayer to receive Jesus in their hearts.  I'm a believer... and that's more important to me than other label.  That is truly who I am.

Humanity Is A Choice

Happy New Years everyone! As I begin 2015, I look back on the previous year... well years actually... to summarize the highs and lows... things I've accomplished and have yet to accomplish... my struggles and blessings received... what I have done and what I want to do, to establish a trajectory for this new year, 2015.  

Having worked in ministry for over seven years, I can say with complete honesty that I have seen and heard some rather distressing things from people.  The horrific things individuals have experienced at the hands of others.  The horrible things people have done to themselves. The brutal things people have done to others.  I have spent ten years of my life witnessing, experiencing, praying and interceding for hours on end to the point of tears, for those left in the wake of the human wreckage left behind by these events.  And this experience has brought me to this conclusion. Humanity is a choice. 

We are all born, whether we want to admit it or not, into the animal kingdom.  The binomial nomenclature used to define us is, “homo sapien”, meaning human or literally translated, "wise man".  Black's Law Dictionary goes further to define us as "homo vocabulum est naturae; persona juris civilis , meaning Man is a term of nature; person of civil law.1  Being a person of nature... and what "nature" means,  is what I want to discuss.

Merrian Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines the state of nature as "a creative and controlling force in the universe" and "the inherent character or basic constitution of a person or thing". What anyone who watches the news or has any familiarity with history knows, is that the "inherent character" of the homo sapien is that of aggression.  Our species was able to survive in nature, dispite our small stature in comparison to other mammals, because we are the most dangerous thing on this planet.  Homo sapiens are at the top of the the food chain...  we are the dominant creature on planet earth, but our intelligence and dominance is not what makes us  human beings.

Personally, I believe that being a "human being" is a higher form of life.  It's more than just self awareness, but awareness of a "being"  that is higher than us.  Acts 17:28 says that, "in Him we live and move and have our being"... and that our "being" is that breath of life that was blown into the first man's nostrils which caused man to become a living being [Genesis 2:7].

Everyone who has lived for any length of time has experienced some degree of pain.  Pain, unfortunately is a part of life and learning how to deal with that pain in ways that don’t do damage to ourselves or others is the work of life, and a good part of why many of us belong to faith communities.  It certainly is the reason I left the Catholic Church and joined a charismatic, non-denominational, spirit-filled church.  I needed the cathartic, redemptive experience of praise and worship to help me deal with… to heal from past hurts.  I needed the balm of Gilead, and in the Catholic Church, that was not available to me.  I needed to know that along with the cross that we all must bear as believers...  the temptation of sin, illness and rejection, all things that Christ himself had to deal with,  that I also had a refuge in prayer and that we are to pray without ceasing [1 Thessalonians 5:17].  I needed to know that I had a defense in knowing the Word and the promises of God and that I could fight back against evil when it afflicted me.  I needed to know that I could put on the “whole armor of God”… that there actually was an armor to put on… in order to stand against the wiles of the devil in that evil day [Ephesian 6:10-13] and that the "evil day" was not any specific day, but any day that I was faced with pain, disappointment, illness, loss or temptation that afflict all of us in life. I needed to know that praising God is one of the most powerful weapons there is against negative situations because “praise stills the avenger”[Psalms 8:2] and that "stilling the avenger" sometimes means changing the situation, but most of the time it means changing me in the situation, the avenger in me... that I do things God's way, and not my own.  I needed to know all I can do, is what I can do, and  that as long as I have done what I'm supposed to do, and put my trust in God's word and cast all my cares on Him, that He would care for me. [1 Peter 5:7] I needed to know that I as a believer, have a God-given, blood-bought covenantal right to expect God's intervention because heaven and earth shall pass but His word would never pass away [Matthew 13:31].

Knowing these things, and believing God's word, is what makes me a human being.  It elevates me above the state of nature, and brings me into His divine nature, where I truly can live and move and have my being.



1Black's Law Dictionary 6th Edition, Centennial Edition 1891-1991;  (St. Paul, MN: West Publishing Company, 1990), pg. 736. 

Just To Be...

GIOVANNI ANSELMO

Entrare nell' opera (Entering the Work) 1971

Inkjet print on canvas 93-1/4 x 73-1/4in

Courtesy of the artist and Marian Goodman Gallery

The first time I saw Giovanni Anselmo’s , “Entering The Work”, it was on the wall of MOCA in downtown Los Angeles.  This massive inkjet print on canvas ( you literally feel like you can walk into it) of a male figure running through a field… larger than life , filled me with excitement. It brought me back to a time and place in my childhood where I'd seen an open field of grass and had the intense urge to run, but was not allowed. The man in Giovanni's work was doing what I wanted to do, and I felt his exhilaration. However after looking at some of Mr. Anselmo's other works, I decided to revisit "Entering The Work", and got quite a different understanding.

As a whole, I find Mr. Anselmo's work to be an exploration of the frailness and weightiness of life... a head of lettuce juxtaposed with a block of granite. A block of granite perilously suspended above Mr. Anselmo's head. The repeated photos taken from a boat, trying to catch the setting sun to illustrate the fleeting nature of time... all of these images, as well as the man running in the field in “Entering The Work" illustrate the angst that I believe everyone feels at some point in their lives.

It struck me as odd that a single image could be so inviting and exciting and yet so tentative. The angle of his legs… the position of his arms… is the man running joyfully or fearfully, as other Anselmo works would suggest?      To me, the man running illustrates how we all run through our lives… at times joyful… at times fearful… at times tentative… and how unnecessary that fear is when you have faith. 

We all have the need to control our lives, some of us more than others.  We even have terms for it… “Control Freaks”, “Type A Personalities”… we are people who have a need to control every aspect of our lives… to be masters of our own universe (and sometimes other’s universe), but the truth is, none of can achieve this.

There is One that is in control, that has absolute control of the universe and that One loves us and if we believe that, we have no need for fear. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” [2Timothy 1:7]. 

Admittedly, coming to accept the truth that we are not in complete control (and it’s not the end of the world) can be a hard pill to swallow.  It doesn’t mean that we have no control or input, we certainly do.  Our actions, our decisions and our attitudes are very important, but they don’t always determine the final outcome. There are always contingencies… the unforeseen… and these things, I have found best to give to God, because He is well able to handle them.  I cast all my care… everything that would normally worry me and I have no control over… on Him, because I know He cares for me. [1 Peter 5:7]

Giving “it” (whatever “it” happens to be… that thing you can’t control) to God is not giving up.  You have to give it to Him in confidence, in faith, knowing that He is touched by the feelings of our infirmity [Hebrews 4:15] and that His thoughts towards us are “…good and not evil. To give us a future and a hope.” [Jeremiah 29:11].  This allows you to appreciate what you have… to appreciate the time you’ve been given because the moment that is past is past and the moment that will come will be predicated on the moment that is right now.  I thank God that we can have an assurance and a calm and a peace… a peace that surpasses all understanding [Phil. 4:7] that will allow us to be… To Be… just to Be… in that moment.  Just to Be… who God created us to be.  Just to enjoy “Being”.  Then we have truly entered the work.

Evil Makes You Stupid, Truth Makes You Free

“Evil Makes You Stupid, Truth Makes You Free”

“Speak truth to stupid”.  This is actually a line from the pilot of Aaron Sorkin’s, “Newroom” that inspired this art piece.  It was intended to be a triptych typography piece, but I later turned it into this short video you see here.  The first panel reads, “Evil Makes You Stupid”, which is a personal quote of mine.  Having worked in ministry and seen how people make the same mistakes over and over (I’ve seen this repeatedly) when you tell people the truth about something and they are not ready to receive it or change, they look at you with glazed-over eyes, as if you’re speaking another language and go… “uh… no, that’s not it”.  That is stupid!  Why? Not because they didn’t have access to the knowledge they needed.  They did.  You told them… or someone else told them… or life repeatedly has told them, and yet they can’t receive it because they have rejected knowledge… they’ve rejected truth. 

Now I know that it is not exactly PC (politically correct) to use the word “stupid” with relation to people due to its negative connotations, but let’s take a look at what the word “stupid” actually means.  According to Merrian Webster’s dictionary, “stupid” is defined as, “not intelligent: having or showing a lack of ability to learn and understand things.  Not sensible or logical.  Not able to think normally because you are drunk, tired, etc.  Dulled in feeling or sensation”.  Based on the actual definition of the word, I think that we can all attest to having done stupid things in the past, myself included.  Times when we didn’t think things through or ignored the preverbal “handwriting on the wall”, but this is not an acceptable way of life, especially not for a believer.  The part of this definition that is the most troubling to me is “having or showing a lack of ability to learn or understand things” which is why some people make the same mistakes repeatedly and never seem to acknowledge their responsibility in what has taken place.   They have, either consciously or unconsciously, rejected knowledge… or rather truth and to reject truth isn’t just stupid because when we reject truth or the Spirit of Truth, we’ve rejected God. For God is the spirit of Truth [John. 14:17, 16:13].   Evil causes us to reject truth every time.  It blinds us to the truth of the things that are before us.  Speaking truth to someone who rejects knowledge is like speaking a foreign language to a person who has no knowledge of that language.  The words that are coming out of your mouth make absolutely no sense to them.  Why? Because evil has blinded them to truth. 

The second panel of the triptych is, “Speak Truth To Stupid”.  There’s a beautiful speech given by MacKenzie McHale (played by Emily Mortimer), Will McAvoy’s executive producer and former lover, where MacKenzie states that you have to “speak truth to stupid”.  MacKenzie wants Will to be the jouralist he used to be and not pander to the network executives and the public for ratings.  She wants Will to treat his viewing public intelligently and “speak truth to stupid”… which she sees as the inflammatory tabloid journalism that out there, filled with opinion and sensationalism and very little fact or thoughtful commentary.  The only way to combat the “stupid” that’s out there is to speak truth… and she’s right. 

As believers, we have to speak truth to stupid.  It allows those of us who are merely having a stupid moment the opportunity to change or correct our thinking and get back on course.  As believers, we have the responsibility to speak truth, God’s truth as it has been revealed to us by the Holy Spirit because we are saved by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony [Rev. 12:11], to share the Good News to “Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” [Acts 1:8]  “If anyone has an ear, let him hear”. [Matthew 11:15] When God’s people, those who believe, hear truth it resonates with us on a very deep level.  It may not even make any sense at the time, but the person will have an understanding that what they are hearing is, in fact true, and nothing else will be needed.  It sticks.  Truth is powerful!  Truth is God!

Now the reason we have to speak truth to stupid is the third panel, “Truth Makes You Free”.  John 8:32 states, “… and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free”, and it does because it makes us free to choose.  God gives us the freedom to accept or reject the truth… which means we have the freedom to accept or reject Him.  This is what free will is all about, and he has given each person on earth the freedom to choose.

I thank God that He has given us the freedom to choose… that our worship is not forced… that instead… His love draws us… woos us, so that we as believers (the Church) may truly become the bride of Christ.  [Ephesian 5:26-27]

Living On The Interest

I have a stock account, meager though it may be, I definitely have a stock account ( two actually). One of the reasons I started buying stock is because I have a dream... possibly a delusion of granduer... I don't know, of being able to do something that people call “Living on the Interest ”meaning that you have enough stock in your porfolio, enough savings put away, that the interest alone will take care of you. It's part of my retirement plan.

I'm working on it. Right now I have a total of maybe oh... seven stock, only one of which is actually profitable, but that 's the goal. And hopefully, that will change for the better. And I'll keep putting a little bit extra away to make sure that I'm able to continue to build that account.

But I began to realize as I was sitting here... actually lying awake in bed at 4 o'clock in the morning... after having had a couple of surgeries and preparing for another one, that I have a different account and that that account is important, because with that account, I am currently living on the interest... and it's not interest on a treasure I've accumulated, but the interest earned by those who deposited before me. People, men and women in my family who have gone before me who made covenant with God... who have served Him, who have loved Him... who have received promises from Him and although they may be long gone, I am living on the interest of their deeds.

One was Charles Kirkman-Bey. He was my maternal great-great grandfather... my maternal grandfather's maternal grandfather. He was a leader of the Moorish Science Temple of America, a group started by the same founder as the Nation of Islam and he ran it in Chicago for almost 30 years.

Kirkman-Bey was a man that believed that truth transcended culture and religion and that there was truth in all of the major faiths. He took parts of Taoism, Buddhism, early Christianity, Freemansonry Islam and Gnostism. He looked at all of these faiths and saw truth in them all and combined them and helped to create the Moorish Science Temple of America, and lead the Chicago temple from 1929 to 1959. From all accounts, when he died in 1959, he left a legacy... a legacy that still exists ... a legacy of honor and compassion that exists to this day, and not just in the city of Chicago.

Another person in my family was my Aunt Willie. She was known on the northside of Chicago for feeding people during the Depression. She had a gift for talking to people, especially young men, and leading people into right action... to be an asset to their communiity instead of deficit. She had no official training, was not an official priest of any denomination, but she had the heart of one, and hated to see decent people suffer. She was single-handedly responsible for bringing our family to Chicago and she was able to do this on a cleaning woman's meager pay. When she died in 1977, there were so many cars in the funeral procession, you couldn't see the end, and these were not family members, but people in the community, black and white, rich and poor, who came to pay their respects. She left such a strong legacy in Chicago so that when I moved back to Chicago in 2007, there were still people that remembered her and because of her deeds, looked after me... I lived on her interest.

Another is my fraternal grandmother, Luna Gaddis, who was known for praying for people. Again, not in a denomination that honored women ministers, but who ministered. No title necessary. I didn't know her well, but when I went to her funeral, there was standing room only in the church and people overflowed out into the street and it wasn't just family. It was the people she had loved and prayed for and counselled who were in tears and weeped heavily at the loss of someone who had poured so much into their lives. I had the opportunity to hear person after person talk about how she had counselled them, how she had prayed for them, how she had helped them see that there was a call on their life. I live on her interest.

My great grandmother, ... my maternal grandmother's mother, Sophie Virginia Howard (her maiden name)... was the “family elder”. On my mother's side of the family, we have a designated family elder who is the head of the family and it's normally one woman. She was known for being a “holy woman” and not just by members of the family, but by the people in the community. She died before my mother was born, so I never got a chance to meet her, but I did get a chance to speak with my last “family elder”, Alene Matthews, Sophie's granddaughter, before she passed, who imparted some knowledge about Sophie Virginia, who I'm named after (Virginia's my middle name) and I understand that I'm living on her interest as well. Sophie Virginia was not just a woman of prayer, she was a healer. She was of Cherokee, English and African ancestry and although she attended a Baptist church, her faith was closer to Cherokee/Christian practices. She was known for being a godly and decent woman... and today I live on the interest.

Now I personally, have done some things to deposit into this account. I haven't just completely relied on the interest acrued by others deeds. I've attempted in my actions in my life, to make deposits myself, but I know that the reason I exist isn't necessarily just because of the deposits I've made, but because of the deposits that were made long before me... long before I was born... long before I was even thought of. Those deposits are covenant with God, made by members of my family for the care and well being of their bloodline... That “their seed shall remain [Ecclesiaticus 44:13] and God keeps His word. I live, because of their interest. I live because of those covenants. I live and move and have my being this day, because God honor's His word... because “God magnifies His word above His name” [138:21].

Long after the bodies are gone, long after the deeds are done, long after all this is said and done, what remains is what we have with our heavenly Father, what remains is that interest, that deposit that we made in faith, that deposit that we made knowing that we served a God that would never leave nor forsake us [Deut. 31:6] that God is true and cannot lie... that heaven and earth shall pass away before his word returns unto him void. [Matt. 24:35] Even when it seems like things aren't going well, the fact that we remain is evidence of that covenant, and we live on the interest.

The Accident Is Just As Important As The Intention

Hello again!  It's been a while since my last post.  I've been busy... I moved (yeah!). I started a new job (gotta pay the bills) and I've been busy fixing the place up and getting settled.

Here's my latest post entitled, "The Accident Is Just As Important As The Intention".   I'm trying something new this month.  I decided to upload a recorded post.  I was a little low on time and found myself  "thinking out loud" (i.e., talking to myself) about the subject, to come up with something and decided an audio recording would work best.  I've included the painting discussed and a guy I work (thank you Dave) put this file together for me.  Just click on the link below

Painting entitled, "The Struggle"

I hope you like the new format.  I will probably be doing more of these in the future.  I would love to hear your feedback.

Sincerely,

Felicia V. Gaddis

Let Me Tell You About Mr. Big

I was talking to a collegue the other day over lunch, and somehow we got on the subject of “Sex In The City”, the now cancelled HBO show about the friendship of four New York professional women and their adventures in trying to find love in the big apple. Now, you may not think that a show like “Sex In The City” is something that I would (or that should be) discussed in a devotional blog about christianity, but if it weren't for this show, Ikthos as it is would not exist.

I became a fan of the show after it went into syndication (I didn't have cable) and began airing on my local television station... so basically, I've only seen the sanitized version of the show, but I still love it, because of the relationships between these four New York women, Miranda ,Samantha, Charlotte and of course Carrie. Sarah Jessica Parker's voiceover of Carrie Bradshaw's column is what caused me to re-think the way I approached Ikthos and gave me the courage to make it more personal and conversational although anyone who's ever seen the show knows our subject matter couldn't be more different.

If you've seen the show (or the movies for that matter) you know the ongoing relationhip Carrie has with Mr. Big. Mr. Big is the love of Carrie's life. He's smart, successful, wealthy, tall, dark and handsome... but unfortunately for most of the show's run, completely unavailable. Either because he afraid of commitment to Carrie or because he commited (married) to someone else. At the end of the first film, Carrie and Mr. Big finally tie the knot in a very simple, unceremonious ceremony at the Justice of the Peace... and of course the girls, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte are all there. This is Carrie's happily-ever-after... she's finally nabbed Mr. Big... the fish that always mananged to get away from her, and as a viewer, I was very happy for Carrie. She'd been through a lot to get this man to meet her at the altar, in fact, her left her at the altar at the beginning of the film, but Carrie and I have a very different idea of what triumphant love is... about what's worth fighting for... about who Mr. Big really is. Let me tell you about Mr. Big.

In Carrie's world, Mr. Big is a man who is afraid of commitment. Who shutters at the thought of emotional intimacy and vulnerability and who only understands Carrie's value to him after he marries another woman,divorces this woman and leaves Carrie at the altar. Only then can he come to terms with the fact that Carrie is the one for him and in a seeming sign of defeat... like raising a white flag in battle... does Mr. Big marry Carrie and I guess this is victory, but thank God my Mr. Big... God in the person of Jesus Christ, isn't this way.

He is faithful... always, and longs for intimacy with is people... no fear of getting too close here. And as for commitment, we are the one's who fear committing to Him. He never leaves or forsakes us [Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5]. He's the one who pursues us, because he first loved loved us and He waits patiently for us to understand and appreciate His undying, eternal love for us.

Now I'm not saying that we can't love others, of course we can but I am saying that without understanding God's love for us, the ongoing love affair God has for and with His people... with His Church, the Bride of Christ, we will never be able to love others with abandon. We will never know what it truly means to be loved... we will never be able to impart that love to others.

I'm not saying that understanding God's love for us is revelation that you get all at once. I believe it's a life-long process that we learn through experience, with God, with others and through prayer and how we handle events in our lives, but it a love relationship that we as individuals should want to pursue and is the model for every loving relationhip we have after.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your loveis more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.”

- Solomon's Song of Songs 1:1-4

How Will You Receive The Presence Of God This Year?

Happy Holidays everyone! As much as I dislike the expression “Happy Holidays” (not personal enough for me) it is the most expedient way of addressing all of the holidays we celebrate at this time of year. With Thanksgiving, we gave thanks for what we have already received... the blessing of friends and family and prosperity of the previous year. With the upcoming Christmas and New Years, beyond all of the shopping, travelling and holiday festivities, we are anticipating the birth of Emanuel, God with us, and the blessing that will bring, but how do you receive Emanuel, especially since we prepare for this every year? What makes this Christmas, this Noel any different or more special than the many others we've celebrated in the past? How will you receive the presence of God this year?

Matthew 8:5-8:13

“And when he was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, and saying, Lord, my servant lieth in the home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. And he saith unto him, I will come and heal him. And the centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed. For I am a man of authority, having under myself soldiers: and I say to this one Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.

And when Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no , not in Israel....

And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way as thou has believed, [so] be it done unto thee and the servant was healed that very hour.”

Genesis 18:1-15

“And the Lord appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day; and he lifted up his eyes and looked and, lo, three men stood by him; and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground, and said, My Lord, if now I have found favor in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant. Let a little water I pray you be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree: and I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And thy said, So do, as thou hast said.

And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetch a calf tender and good, and give it unto the young man; and he hasted to dress it. And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them: and he stood by them under the tree, and thy did eat.

And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold in the tent. And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life, and lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.

Now Abraham and Sarah were old, and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed, I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.Then Sarah denied, saying I laughed not; for she was afraid and he said, Nay: but thou didst laugh.

Admittedly, these are not your typical Christmas passages, but they are two very different examples of how people, myself included, receive the presence of God...one with feelings of unworthiness and shame, the other with great joy and celebration.

In the first example, the centurion sees and meets Jesus and “beseeches” Jesus to heal his servant of the palsy. “Beseech” in Merriam-Webster's dictionary is defined as, “to beg for urgently or anxiously; to request earnestly: implore. Implore is defined as, “to call upon in supplication; to call or pray for earnestly: entreat. Entreat is defined as, ”negociate; plead. So it is safe to say that the centurion cared greatly for his servant and that his was a whole-hearted, urgent plea... not a passing request, for the healing of his servant.

Jesus, in his love and mercy, agrees to come to the centurion's home and heal the servant, but the

Centurion refuses Jesus entry to his home, stating that he “is not worthy” to have Jesus under his roof, and instead, he tell Christ to “just say the word, and my servant shall be healed”. Jesus commended him for his faith and goes on to chide Israel for not having that level of faith, which is true, they didn't have faith in Him, but I wonder, was this the best way to receive the presence of God?

In Genesis 18, Abraham sees the Lord, which some call the Christophony or the pre-incarnate Christ,¹ on the plains of Mamre. When he sees the Lord, Abraham requests that they “pass not away” and invites the “three men” to take bread and water, rest under a tree and washes their feet. He has his servants prepare a feast for them... killing a tender calf and serving milk and butter. The “three men” (could this be the godhead?) stay and bless him and his household and promise that Abraham shall have a son by his wife Sarah, who was past her child-bearing years... and they do all this without Abraham asking for anything. The Lord saw the need, and fulfilled it beyond Abraham's wildest dreams, promising what naturally was not physically possible.

I understand the Centurion's feelings of unworthiness. In reality, none of us are worthy of God's blessings, “for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God [Rom. 3:23] and if we say that we have not sinned, we call God a liar and the truth is not in us [1Jn 1:10] for it is not possible for God to lie [Heb. 6:18], but should this feeling of shame... which some call “Bread of Shame”, stop us from seeking the presence of God?

Should we allow our unworthiness to separate us from our savior, the one who was unjustly persecuted, unjustly prosecuted and viciously crucified... in order that we might have communion with our Creator and heavenly Father... the one who came to reconcile us back to God? God forbid! What then would be the reason of his suffering and the price He paid for us? What then would be the benefit of His blood shed for us... it would be of no value... again, God forbid! When Jesus was crucified, the curtain in the temple that separated the people from the Holy of Holies was torn from end to end [Matt. 27:51] exposing and reuniting God with his people. God was no longer shrouded behind a heavy curtain with the fear of death if they came near unworthy. They, and we today, can come boldly to the throne of Grace [Heb. 4:16] without fear, without dread and enjoy the presence of the Lord, like Abraham did on the plains of Mamre with joy and celebration and with anticipation of Emanuel, God with us, supplying all our need... the need we are aware of and the need we haven't the courage to speak.

This Christmas, my sincerest prayer for myself and for all, is that we shed our shame and feelings of unworthiness so that we may truly be able to celebrate God with us and all that the blessing of His presence brings. Have a very Merry and Blessed Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

Love to all...

From,

Felicia V. Gaddis

Creator of Ikthos

¹. Definition of “Christophany” taken from Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christophany