A conversation on art and faith with Artist, Teresa Hill

I had the pleasure of meeting artist, Teresa Hill at "Alimento", an art show held at my current church, First Congregational Church of Los Angeles.  I was immediately drawn to one of her paintings, "St. Ty", 

a portrait of a "beatified" man holding an open pomegranate with bees buzzing around it.  

The painting held my attention because as a former Catholic, the light around his head and face, his upward gaze and the use of color... the reds and oranges and yellows... and the use of light and dark, reminded me of Renaissance paintings of saints.  This figure, "St. Ty" seemed to be in contemplation, which caused me to contemplate him... what was his story?  What was he contemplating?  He was wearing a red hoodie, set in modern times.  Why was he being portrayed as a saint? And what was the significance of the pomegranate and the bees?  What was the artist trying to say?

I stood in front of this painting for a long time, wrestling with what I didn't know and had no way to find out because there were NO ARTIST NOTES!!! (a pet peeve of mine) and in absolute frustration, I finally walked away. But I kept catching a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye because I was drawn to the rich colors... I loved the use of light and shadow... so warm and inviting to me.  

So as I'm turning away, trying to distract myself from this painting, a woman and her daughter walked up to me and started a conversation.  It's Teresa Hill, the artist who created the painting that so drew and perplexed me.  When I found out who she was, the first words out of my mouth were, "You're pomegranate guy!  Ok, so what's the deal with pomegranate guy!"  

As we talked, I found out that "St. Ty" is actually a portrait of her ex-husband, who used to be an animator for a well-known studio here in Los Angeles, and this is how she saw him... somewhat other-worldly, with a gift (the pomegranate).  However, there was also the ideas of both pollination (life) and danger that surrounded him and his gift (his artistry) represented by the bees.

I found our conversation really enlightening and so enjoyable, not to mention the fact that it relieved my frustration over her painting, that I told her about Ikthos, and asked to do an interview with her and graciously she agreed.

On December 19th, one week before Christmas, Teresa and  I met at Copa Vida, a coffee house in South Pasadena, California, to share coffee (for me, an elixir of life), conversation and thoughts on faith, her art and the meaning of life.  The conversation that follows, most of which you will be able to hear below, was an hour and forty-three minutes long, which I've condensed to an hour and twenty-three minutes (sorry that was the best I could do.  There's a lot of good stuff). 

"The Whistling"

The Hatchling"

We spoke about her take on her Southern Baptist background, or what she calls her "point of awakening", her interpretation of scripture, which can be seen throughout her work, where her faith journey has taken her outside of the Southern Baptist tradition and her views on life in general.  We discuss specifically, "The Whistling", "The Hatchling" and "Eve Revisited", a work currently in progress.

To my more traditional believers out there, I would ask that you listen to our conversation without judgment.  Teresa has gone beyond most of our comfort zones, but the echoes of what we were taught are still there.  I have to admit that I don't agree with all that she believes in, and that's perfectly ok.  We respect each other enough to listen to each other, which I believe is much needed in the body of Christ today and I know I grew from our conversation, as I believe she did as well.  We plan on speaking again.

I believe this is all a part of the journey Christ intended us to have as we each "run our own race".  She is running her race and I am running mine and maybe by sharing our stories of lessons learned, we can assist one another.  The body of Christ, "joint supplying joint."

Teresa Hill Interview

What It Means To Be "Royal"

Hello everyone and Happy Holidays! I hope you had a blessed and merry Christmas and that you will have a blessed and prosperous new year!

Recently, I've had a couple of conversations on what it means to be “Royal”. Royalty has become a hot topic in modern culture. Prince William and Catherine, Dutchess of Cambridge, The recent wedding of Prince Carl Philip and Sofia Hellqvist and the recent royal nupitals in Monaco have gotten the whole world it seems, talking about royalty... what it means to be royal... the pomp and circumstance that comes with the title... the parties... the traveling... the state events... it seems the whole world is mesmerized by their glamorous lifestyle. Average, middle-class people are willing to go into great debt or go to great extremes to have a look of opulence, which they equate with being “royal”... to have a dress like Catherine or a hairstyle like Sofia or your pop star de jour. They will change their mannerisms, their look and occasionally their speech, all in an attempt to be like “royalty”. But are all the public events and pomp and circumstance what it really means to be “royal”?

Out of all the recent royal couples out there, I think I admire Prince William and Catherine the most, not because they are royalty, but because they appear to be very down to earth people. They take care of their children. Charles goes to work everyday just like any young husband and father. Catherine does her own grocery shopping, just like any other young wife and mother. They just happen to be heirs to one of the oldest, successive monarchies in the western hemisphere and yet doing “common”, everyday, mundane things, like doing your own grocery shopping, isn't beneath them... down to earth and in some ways, a little Christ-like.

Black's Law Dictionary defines “royal” as, “Of or pertaining to or proceeding from the king in a monarchical government” [ 6^th ed. p. 1330]. In the book of John, Chapter 17, Jesus “lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.

And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.” [Jn. 17:1-5] Jesus was asking God the Father, the First of the trinity, to restore him to the fullness of his divinity because his work was done.

Christ was and is and will always be the ultimate royal. He willingly cast off the fullness of his divinity, to take on flesh in the person of Jesus of Nazareth [Jn. 1:14], to become the son of Mary, a simple young girl and to be raised by Joseph, a simple carpenter [Lk 1:20]. He allowed himself to be subjected to all of what it means to be fully human... pain, loss, need, temptation, hunger, humiliation and ultimately death [Matt. 27:50] and only at the very end, at his most human point, did he ask, “My God my God, why have you forsaken me” [Matt. 27:46]. Christ is the ultimate royal in that he was willing to suffer the cross, all for his people... you and me... for the Kingdom of God.

This Christmas, as I sat in church singing Christmas carols and looking at the beautiful lights and decorations, I thought of the day the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she would give birth to a savior... I thought about the day Christ is born in a manger (not a palace)... I thought about the wise men who traveled to pay tribute to Christ, one of only two acts of pomp in his life (the other being Palm Sunday) and how simple and beautiful and awe-inspiring these moments are, and I wonder if we today have any real understanding of what it means to be royal at all.

Just To Be...

GIOVANNI ANSELMO

Entrare nell' opera (Entering the Work) 1971

Inkjet print on canvas 93-1/4 x 73-1/4in

Courtesy of the artist and Marian Goodman Gallery

The first time I saw Giovanni Anselmo’s , “Entering The Work”, it was on the wall of MOCA in downtown Los Angeles.  This massive inkjet print on canvas ( you literally feel like you can walk into it) of a male figure running through a field… larger than life , filled me with excitement. It brought me back to a time and place in my childhood where I'd seen an open field of grass and had the intense urge to run, but was not allowed. The man in Giovanni's work was doing what I wanted to do, and I felt his exhilaration. However after looking at some of Mr. Anselmo's other works, I decided to revisit "Entering The Work", and got quite a different understanding.

As a whole, I find Mr. Anselmo's work to be an exploration of the frailness and weightiness of life... a head of lettuce juxtaposed with a block of granite. A block of granite perilously suspended above Mr. Anselmo's head. The repeated photos taken from a boat, trying to catch the setting sun to illustrate the fleeting nature of time... all of these images, as well as the man running in the field in “Entering The Work" illustrate the angst that I believe everyone feels at some point in their lives.

It struck me as odd that a single image could be so inviting and exciting and yet so tentative. The angle of his legs… the position of his arms… is the man running joyfully or fearfully, as other Anselmo works would suggest?      To me, the man running illustrates how we all run through our lives… at times joyful… at times fearful… at times tentative… and how unnecessary that fear is when you have faith. 

We all have the need to control our lives, some of us more than others.  We even have terms for it… “Control Freaks”, “Type A Personalities”… we are people who have a need to control every aspect of our lives… to be masters of our own universe (and sometimes other’s universe), but the truth is, none of can achieve this.

There is One that is in control, that has absolute control of the universe and that One loves us and if we believe that, we have no need for fear. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” [2Timothy 1:7]. 

Admittedly, coming to accept the truth that we are not in complete control (and it’s not the end of the world) can be a hard pill to swallow.  It doesn’t mean that we have no control or input, we certainly do.  Our actions, our decisions and our attitudes are very important, but they don’t always determine the final outcome. There are always contingencies… the unforeseen… and these things, I have found best to give to God, because He is well able to handle them.  I cast all my care… everything that would normally worry me and I have no control over… on Him, because I know He cares for me. [1 Peter 5:7]

Giving “it” (whatever “it” happens to be… that thing you can’t control) to God is not giving up.  You have to give it to Him in confidence, in faith, knowing that He is touched by the feelings of our infirmity [Hebrews 4:15] and that His thoughts towards us are “…good and not evil. To give us a future and a hope.” [Jeremiah 29:11].  This allows you to appreciate what you have… to appreciate the time you’ve been given because the moment that is past is past and the moment that will come will be predicated on the moment that is right now.  I thank God that we can have an assurance and a calm and a peace… a peace that surpasses all understanding [Phil. 4:7] that will allow us to be… To Be… just to Be… in that moment.  Just to Be… who God created us to be.  Just to enjoy “Being”.  Then we have truly entered the work.

The Accident Is Just As Important As The Intention

Hello again!  It's been a while since my last post.  I've been busy... I moved (yeah!). I started a new job (gotta pay the bills) and I've been busy fixing the place up and getting settled.

Here's my latest post entitled, "The Accident Is Just As Important As The Intention".   I'm trying something new this month.  I decided to upload a recorded post.  I was a little low on time and found myself  "thinking out loud" (i.e., talking to myself) about the subject, to come up with something and decided an audio recording would work best.  I've included the painting discussed and a guy I work (thank you Dave) put this file together for me.  Just click on the link below

Painting entitled, "The Struggle"

I hope you like the new format.  I will probably be doing more of these in the future.  I would love to hear your feedback.

Sincerely,

Felicia V. Gaddis

Let Me Tell You About Mr. Big

I was talking to a collegue the other day over lunch, and somehow we got on the subject of “Sex In The City”, the now cancelled HBO show about the friendship of four New York professional women and their adventures in trying to find love in the big apple. Now, you may not think that a show like “Sex In The City” is something that I would (or that should be) discussed in a devotional blog about christianity, but if it weren't for this show, Ikthos as it is would not exist.

I became a fan of the show after it went into syndication (I didn't have cable) and began airing on my local television station... so basically, I've only seen the sanitized version of the show, but I still love it, because of the relationships between these four New York women, Miranda ,Samantha, Charlotte and of course Carrie. Sarah Jessica Parker's voiceover of Carrie Bradshaw's column is what caused me to re-think the way I approached Ikthos and gave me the courage to make it more personal and conversational although anyone who's ever seen the show knows our subject matter couldn't be more different.

If you've seen the show (or the movies for that matter) you know the ongoing relationhip Carrie has with Mr. Big. Mr. Big is the love of Carrie's life. He's smart, successful, wealthy, tall, dark and handsome... but unfortunately for most of the show's run, completely unavailable. Either because he afraid of commitment to Carrie or because he commited (married) to someone else. At the end of the first film, Carrie and Mr. Big finally tie the knot in a very simple, unceremonious ceremony at the Justice of the Peace... and of course the girls, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte are all there. This is Carrie's happily-ever-after... she's finally nabbed Mr. Big... the fish that always mananged to get away from her, and as a viewer, I was very happy for Carrie. She'd been through a lot to get this man to meet her at the altar, in fact, her left her at the altar at the beginning of the film, but Carrie and I have a very different idea of what triumphant love is... about what's worth fighting for... about who Mr. Big really is. Let me tell you about Mr. Big.

In Carrie's world, Mr. Big is a man who is afraid of commitment. Who shutters at the thought of emotional intimacy and vulnerability and who only understands Carrie's value to him after he marries another woman,divorces this woman and leaves Carrie at the altar. Only then can he come to terms with the fact that Carrie is the one for him and in a seeming sign of defeat... like raising a white flag in battle... does Mr. Big marry Carrie and I guess this is victory, but thank God my Mr. Big... God in the person of Jesus Christ, isn't this way.

He is faithful... always, and longs for intimacy with is people... no fear of getting too close here. And as for commitment, we are the one's who fear committing to Him. He never leaves or forsakes us [Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5]. He's the one who pursues us, because he first loved loved us and He waits patiently for us to understand and appreciate His undying, eternal love for us.

Now I'm not saying that we can't love others, of course we can but I am saying that without understanding God's love for us, the ongoing love affair God has for and with His people... with His Church, the Bride of Christ, we will never be able to love others with abandon. We will never know what it truly means to be loved... we will never be able to impart that love to others.

I'm not saying that understanding God's love for us is revelation that you get all at once. I believe it's a life-long process that we learn through experience, with God, with others and through prayer and how we handle events in our lives, but it a love relationship that we as individuals should want to pursue and is the model for every loving relationhip we have after.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your loveis more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.”

- Solomon's Song of Songs 1:1-4

What's In Your Memo?

As believers in Christ, we are given a spiritual birthright, by the blood of Jesus, to many benefits and blessings But with those benefits and blessings, come responsibilities, which should not seem unreasonable to us. After all, Christ gave the ultimate sacrifice, his life, that we might have these blessings. That we might be able to cry unto God “Abba Father”. [Rom. 8:15] Our job as believers is to find out along with our rights, what our responsibilities are... and they intensify as we mature spiritually. The greater the blessings we walk in, the greater the responsibility. We need to find out what's in our memo.

When I first started working in television, I worked freelance for a small production company that used something called deal memos as employment contracts. The deal memo laid out your responsibilities to the company/show you were working on and it also stated how much you would be paid and when for the services you rendered.

For the third show I worked on for this company, “Story of a People: Three Cities Revisited”, I was hired as the Associate Producer and was responsible for hiring crew for our out-of-town shoots. I typed up the deal memo for the field producer I hired in Atlanta and discussed the terms and compensation with her over the phone. I faxed the memo to her for approval and had her sign, fax and mail a hard copy of the signed memo back to me. This was proof legally, that we both understood and agreed to the terms of the memo and that full payment was conditional upon her delivering all of the items requested in that memo, i.e., beauty shots of Atlanta (day and night), b-roll of the family she was interviewing (their home, neighborhood, their place of work), and an informative interview with at least all of the questions I sent her answered). This was the bare minimum that was required for her to receive payment and a show credit.

The morning of the shoot, I spoke to her briefly with some last minute information and asked how she felt about the shoot. She seemed excited and eager to get started which was a relief to me because I would have preferred doing the interviews myself, but the show couldn't afford the travel expense of me going to Atlanta. I had to relinquish absolute control of this shoot and trust someone I had never met, to do my bidding for me. I had to trust that she would ask the questions I sent her, that she'd read the research material I sent her and that she would build a rapport with the family she was interviewing. The interview subject has to trust that they are in good hands so that they feel safe enough to really open up. You get a much better interview that way. I also had to trust that she had good instincts and would be able to recognize if the subject said something during the interview that was useful but maybe off script, and she would know how to follow that line of questioning and tie it back into the questions I'd sent her. I had to trust that she would get all of the above-mentioned elements, in the proper format, back to me in a timely manner because we were going to edit within few days of the shoot. There was a lot riding on this total stranger and our initial conversation did put my mind at ease.

I spoke to her again at the end of the day. She joyfully exclaimed that everything had gone according to plan and that I would be pleased with the outcome, so you can imagine my surprise and terror when I looked at the footage and saw that some of the b-roll I needed (beauty shots of Atlanta at night and the work location of the subject) weren't there. In a panic, I picked up the phone and called this field producer to ask what on earth had happened. She then informed me that she and the crew had been caught in traffic, the day ran long and there just wasn't enough time to get all the shots I wanted. After all I wasn't really paying her that much so this was the best she could do. I then took her back to that deal memo we'd discussed in depth and that she'd signed and faxed back to me. I informed her that as per the terms of the deal memo, she was in breach of contract and that ANY further payment was contingent upon her delivering all the items listed in that memo. She hadn't been coerced into signing it. If she thought the pay was not sufficient or the work load too heavy, she had every opportunity to negotiate different terms or not take the job, but if she wanted the remainder of her pay (she was paid half up front), she would have to deliver the the missing elements that I had requested, and fast! Two days later, I received the missing elements and we were finally able to go to edit but needless to say, I never recommended her services to anyone and I certainly never hired her again.

Just as the terms of the my deal memo with this field producer were clearly stated in writing, the terms of my rights and responsibilities with Christ are clearly stated in His “deal memo” with us, the Bible. As I grow in faith, I am able to walk in more of the rights and benefits that are stated in the bible. I have a right to joy unspeakable [1Peter 1:8]. I have a right to “the peace of God, which passes all understanding...” [Phil. 4:7]. I have a right to the Holy Spirit, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” But I am also responsible for more.

I am responsible for the Truth, the word that I know. [Jn. 8:32] I am responsible for what I have been taught, by both God and man. I am responsible to stand for what I believe when I know that it lines up with the Word of God, regardless of how others feel about it. [Ephesians 6:13] I am responsible to share with others, to give my testimony of what I've been taught and my experiences with God, with those who permit it. [Matt. 11:15] For we are saved by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony. [Rev. 12:11]

Unlike the field producer, I NEVER have to worry about God being in breach of contract. He is perfection. He is truth and heaven and earth shall pass away before his word returns unto Him void. [Is. 55:11; Lk. 21:33]. I can trust Him implicitly and relinquish any need to control how He accomplishes His part of our Deal Memo (how is not my responsibility), but rest in the knowledge that it will be done.

The New Testament covenant we have as believers, has made us all kings and priests unto God [Rev. 1:6], with rights and benefits reserved only for the high priests of the Old Testament and greater responsibilities as well. But the benefit of eternal life and intimacy with God far out weigh any burden we may carry. Christ even helps us with that. [1Peter 5:7; 2 Cor. 12:9]. He has made us free, no longer slaves to fear... fear of the opinions of men, of separation from God or of ever being alone again, because He will never leave or forsake us. [Deut. 31:6] And this liberty and relationship we have as believers, is not reserved for a select few (the presbytery) but for all who believe. “For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people. And they shall not teach every man his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.” [Hebrews 8:10-11]

The Verb "To Be"

“To be or not to be--that is the question” asks Hamlet... and that is indeed the question. But what does it really mean? What does it mean, “to be”?

I first became aware of the magnitude of this question while sitting in a Spanish class at El Camino College. We were going over our homework, an exercise on the two spanish verbs “to be”, ser verse estar. In spanish, one of the first things you learn is which verb “to be” to use. Ser is used in description, origin and time, as in “Yo soy Felicia” (I am Felicia); “Yo soy de Chicago” (I am from Chicago); “Es el martes, 23 de abril de 2013” (It is Tuesday, April 23, 2013). Estar is used in locations and conditions, as in “Yo estoy sentado en la mesa de la cocina” (I am sitting at the kitchen table); and “Yo estoy cansada esta manana” (I am tired this morning). :)

As I sat in class, listening to the instructor reviewing the rules for Ser vs. Estar, I had an epiphany. That “being” is far more complex than I had prievously imagined. That the state of being was important enough for an entire culture to desginate different words for various states of being, and that which word to use is determined by whether or not you, as an individual have the power to change your state of being. I am from Chicago, I can't change that therefore, yo soy de Chicago. I am sitting at the kitchen table, I can change that at anytime by moving, therefore yo estoy sentada en la mesa de la cocina. I am Felicia, I cannot change the essence of who I am (i.e., my history, my lineage, what I value, my likes, my dislikes, my personality, etc). All these things combine to make me uniquely “me” therefore yo soy Felicia. We are a recipe that has taken untold generations and combinations create. We do have choices of traits that we emphasis, but the very fact that we choose them is an indication of who we are... and of who's we are.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Christ is the only one who can change our nature and cause us to be something new. When we receive him in our hearts, we become “new creatures in Christ”, but even the desire to receive Christ has to connect with something that already exists within us. “Deep calls unto deep...” [Ps. 42:7], we have “an ear to hear” [Matt. 11:15], we then can receive Him in our hearts and then we can become something new... born again, but the desire “to be” fully was always there. We simply answer the call of that “still small voice” and we become fully God's children and not merely his creation. “For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'” [Acts 17:28]

I know this from my own personal experience. When I was a practicing Roman Catholic, as much as I loved the church and my faith, I knew there was “something” missing. I couldn't put my finger on it or articulate fully, but I knew there had to be something more. While visiting Love Fellowship Tabernacle and listening to Pastor Daryl Coley, who at the time was a family friend, I heard the altar call and it connected with something so deep within me, that I literally stepped on my mother's friend (accidently of course) to get to that altar. I HAD to get there. The depth that is God called to the deep that was within me... my deep need to know (gnosis) that God loved me, my deep need to feel whole and my deep need to no longer be sad, because depression was something that I had dealt with all of my life.

By going to that altar, and receiving Christ in my heart, I had been given the power to change my state of being, to change my “estar”, my condition, and to become the “ser” I was always intended to be from the beginning of time. “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love” [Ephesians 1:4] and that was my beginning in really knowing what it means “to be”. Now, in Him I live and move and truly have my being.

No More Labels

I ran across a YouTube video of Naomi Klein, the author of “Shock Doctrine” and “No More Labels”, discussing the latter book. It dawned on me as I was thinking about the book and what that means... that we have to stop buying into brands, that what's really important isn't the brand, but the quality of the product and that isn't always reflected by the brand name or label. As believers, I believe we need to do the same with brands or labels in the body of Christ.

As a non-denominational believer, which is really what Congregationalism is about... each congregation declaring its statement of faith and coming together with other's of like-minded faith... we've got to stop putting labels on Christ and on His Church. Should it really matter if you're Catholic (which means universal by the way) or Lutheran or Church of God in Christ, or Presbyterian when it comes to our core beliefs or the condition of the body? Don't we all believe in the same Jesus... that he died on the cross, was buried in a tomb and rose on the third day?

Should it really be a problem for the Lutheran Synod if Rev. Rob Morris, a Lutheran Pastor in Newtown CT, participates in an interfaith service, when his entire town has been devastated by the senseless murder of twenty six of Newtown's smallest and most defenseless residents? Should he have stayed away if everyone there didn't share traditional Lutheran beliefs and do we really think Jesus would have?

How are we to become “a body fitly joined together, joint supplying joint,[ Ephes. 4:16] if the “joints” are constantly trying to cut each other off... from purpose, from blessings from fellowship with the saints (and for my Catholic family out there, I believe that a “saint” is anyone who has been sanctified by the blood of Jesus, and that does not require evidence of miracles like the gift of bi-location) and from God? How are we to be true “living epistles read of men” when we don't live the Word... when we don't live Christ?

“Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.” [2Corinthians 3:1-3] This is what Christ wants for us... for His body... His bride which is the Church.

Today, as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus, for me, the important thing to remember is not the suffering of His death, but of life resurrected. Jesus was only dead 3 days, and now he's alive forever, and in a glorified state... better than he ever was before! Better for us because what He gave, could only have been given by Him. Better for us because only His blood could cleanse us of all unrightiousness. He did for us what we were and are not capable of doing for ourselves and my prayer this Resurrection Sunday, is that He does the same for His Church. That the love of Christ enables us as His body, overcome the divisiveness and sectarianism organized religion seems to encourage. He died that we might truly have life... and life more abundantly, but I don't believe we can be resurrected if we continue the culture of labels and division we've created.

I don't believe that there has been any other time in modern history, that the Church has been more challenged, but our greatest challenge comes from within. We must return to our first Love... the Love that sustained and in fact grew the First Century Church under tremendous persecution. The Love that caused the Protestant Reformation, the Azuza Street Revival and drew most of us into the non-denominational movement of the 1980's and 1990's. The love that enables those of us who believe on His name, to become the Sons of God. “Which are born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” [John 1:13]

"Owe No Man Nothing But To Love Him"

Well... this is my post for the month of February.  I had planned to write about Valentine’s Day and the meaning of that holiday, and I still may at some later date, but for now...I believe the greatest Valentine’s Day gift I can give any reader is the gift of freedom... freedom from heart ache through the love of Jesus Christ (He is after all the Balm of Gilead), freedom from the opinions of men because no man can serve two masters (Matt. 6:24) and freedom from debt, because the word of God says that we should “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”

Love comes in a multitude of forms.  In Greek, which is a language that was used during the time of Christ and was also used in writing the New Testament, it even has several different words.  According to Wikipedia, there are four words for love: Agape, Eros, Philia and Stroge.

Agape* is love that puts us in a state of wonder or amazement, as with the mouth wide open (with one’s mouth agape).  This kind of love is spiritual in nature, not sexual, and is the kind of love that is most closely related to Christian love... the love that Christ has for us and the love that we have for Him and each other.  This I believe is the greatest love.

The second, Eros*, is sexual love.  The kind of love that exists between husband and wife.  It is the physical expression of their spiritual union.  This word is the root of the word erotic, which has taken on other meanings and I believe is highly and inaccurately over used, but its origin is in no way lascivious or depraved, but actually quite beautiful... and produces life.

The next is Philia*, which is brotherly love.  It can be described as affection, attachment, fondness, tenderness, protectiveness... all the attributes that we use to describe the way we love our family and friends.

The last is Stroge*.  This is the word used to describe that special love parents have for their children.  The kind that can give strength to a parent to perform the seemingly impossible... like the mother that lifts a car off her child (this has happened) or cause a father to train for a marathon, just so he can make his disabled son’s dream of finishing a marathon a reality (www.teamhoyt.com).  It causes us to go that extra mile... to risk life and limb... for our offspring, so that our “seed shall remain” (psalm 89:4).

Now you may wonder, how does being free from debt fit in with the kinds of love listed above?  Trust me, it does.  It actually applies to three of the four types mentioned... agape, philia and stroge.  If we love our community of believers and the fellowship of the saints (those sanctified by the blood of Jesus) we are going to want what is best for them, which is not to be beholden to anyone or anything but Christ.  Debt is a burden and we shouldn’t want that for them.  We also shouldn’t want that burden for our friends or extended family for the same reasons.  We definitely shouldn’t want that for our children, because “a good man leaves an inheritance” (psalms 13:22), not only to his children, but also to his children’s children.  This is the inheritance to the servants of the Lord... and all those who believe, so why is it that so many believer’s are actually encouraged and in some cases deceived into taking on more than they can handle financially?  I’ve even visited churches where pastors have stated that “God gave them a car loan they didn’t even qualify for”.  Was this really a blessing from God or a trick of “the enemy”... whatever that enemy happens to be: greed, a desire to keep up with the Jones, the desire to impress his congregation, etc... to overburden himself and his family?

It is said that we, as believers, should wear this world as a loose garment, and this is based in part on Mark 4:19, which states that “the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke out the word, and it becomes unfruitful.”  Now I am in no way implying that you should have nothing or want nothing, its just that our desires shouldn’t overtake us... controlling our lives.  Ultimately, everything we want should (and can) line up with God’s desire for us.  

So... in the spirit of my desire to help believers (and myself) love ourselves and our families better, I am including a link to a Mashable.com video  I just discovered: 
Two Guys Create Legit Way To Pay Debt Online for a website called “Ready For Zero”.  The site provides tools and advice for individuals to get out of debt, for themselves and their loved ones, which makes all of us just a little more free. This is my Valentine’s Gift to you... and me :).

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* All definitions taken from Wikipedia and TheFreeDictionary by Farlex (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/)

What Is Good?

I recently reconnected through Facebook with an old friend, Christophe Lobry. Actually, Christophe is more than an old friend; he’s my first “grown-up” love. Our relationship was short lived, but it was very instrumental in my personal development… my personal journey from girlhood to womanhood, and that relationship has forever altered, in a good way, the trajectory of my life.

We met when I was 20 years old through a mutual friend and there was any immediate spark. We dated for a couple of months, but I was a little too inexperienced for my new beau and one night over dinner, I looked across the table at him and said, “I love you”. It was a phrase we had both uttered before, but this time, instead of hearing his usual reply, he said “I’m sorry dear, but I don’t love you.” I was devastated. I sank back into my seat, feeling as if someone had just hit me. He asked if I was ok and I said I was, but to be honest, I don’t remember much of what was said after that. We agreed to be “friends” and continued to see each other for a few weeks after that, but I couldn’t get past the truth of what he’d said, and told him I couldn’t see him anymore.

John 8:32 says, “… and the truth shall make us free” and in this instance, it really did. I could no longer ignore the problems I knew were in our relationship. It destroyed any overly romanticized schoolgirl notions of what I wanted our relationship to be and forced me to deal with the facts… the reality that I was never going to be able to get from him what I really wanted… and that was to be understood and loved for me. It also forced me to come to the realization that I needed to determine for myself, and define clearly what I wanted out of a relationship and how I wanted to live my life. That it was my responsibility (not his) to set a standard and if I didn’t, I had no one to blame but myself for what I got. This very unpleasant truth, the fact that he didn’t love me, was probably the greatest act of love he could have given me because it freed me to move on.

Ephesians 4:15 says, “… but speaking the truth in love, we grow in all things, into Him who is the head – Christ”. I doubt that he had this scripture in mind, but that’s exactly what he did. He was never malicious; in fact he was quite compassionate about the whole thing and very concerned for my well-being when I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. That next year, I took time to work on me. I didn’t date at all and went into therapy. God blessed me with a great therapist, who worked with me through family issues, self-esteem issues and gave me a safe place to voice my fears, hopes and dreams and encouraged me to grow so I could move forward.

Eventually, I began socializing with some of my co-workers at the law firm I worked for, which gave me an introduction to the culture of law, which was very beneficial to me when I began doing clip licensing for television. One of the attorneys even invited me to go on a whitewater rafting trip with a group from the firm, something I never would have done on my own… I had a blast!

One Saturday afternoon while looking for something to do to fill all this extra time, I bought a 35mm camera. I took up photography, which led me into film. By the end of that year, I knew just about every camera store and arthouse/foreign film (something Christophe had introduced me to) venue in Los Angeles and would see 5 to 6 films a week. This gave me a vast mental library of films and visual images and a good grasp of the art of storytelling.

I took classes at UCLA Extension at Santa Monica College in photography, film and television and changed jobs and began working in the creative department at an advertising agency that made television and radio commercials. This was the beginning of my career in television.

Around August of the following year, I was reconnected with an acquaintance from high school, Kevin Lee. We began dating and this time… because Christophe told me a very painful truth and I’d done some work on me, I was ready. To date, Kevin Lee has been the love of my life. Unfortunately he passed away in 1994, but I am incredibly grateful for the time we had together.

Some of the most painful things in our lives, if we use them correctly, can bring us great good. Christophe telling me that he no longer loved me was not pleasant… in fact it was downright painful, but it was very good because it freed me to move on and find someone who actually did love me, Kevin. Otherwise, if I had continued acting under the false assumption that the relationship with Christophe was going to work, I would have stayed in something that was fruitless, with the hope of something that I was never coming. I finally got what I was looking for… to be understood and loved for me.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Tempering… 

Definition:

1. To mix clay with water or a modifier (grog) and knead (wedge) to a uniformmixture.

2.  To harden (as steel) by reheating and cooling in oil.

I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago with this word on my mind.  The examples I immediately thought of were tempering steel and clay.

As I thought of the word, it became apparent that the last 13 years of my life had been an exercise in tempering, but the first two definitions were not the most accurate me, the one that really fits is one of the last definitions in the Merrian-Webster Dictionary, “ to make stronger or more resilient through hardship, toughen.”

Starting in 1999, I entered full-time ministry with my mother, first as part of a non-profit that provided food and clothing directly to the poor and to other ministries in the Los Angeles area and then December 24, 2000, we started “Agape Love Fellowship International Church in south Los Angeles and the ministry was extended to include street evangelism, a support group, bible study and Sunday Worship services.

In the process of doing this we, my mother and I, lost everything we own… a couple of times, but I remained faithful to the ministry until December 24, 2006, when my mother fell ill and I began to realize that many of the people we were ministering to, and our “home church” (and I use that term loosely) really didn’t have our best interests at heart.

My mother fell ill with a viral infection after my former pastor ordered her to leave the house we shared with another minister, knowing we had no place else to go, and didn’t offer alternative lodging.  We stayed in our car the winter of 2006 and that’s when she became sick.  She went to the hospital and was prescribed an overdose of antibiotics, which in turn caused  Clostridium difficile, also known as C. diff, which is a severe inflammation of the colon, often resulting from eradication of the normal gut flora by antibiotics.^[3]

During her stay in the hospital, several of the members of our home church paid a visit, but our pastor never called or came by.  My mother wasn’t even put on the prayer list until she was released from the hospital 11 day later.  Considering my mother had served as a pastor, evangelist and intercessor at that church for over 10 years, I believe that this was a travesty, and should have been a signal to her to leave.  Members were still calling and asking her for prayer while she was in the hospital, too sick and too weak to walk, and yet when she was in her hour of need, the church as a whole was no help to her.

I tried my best to get my mother to leave that place, but she chose not to and to this day is still a member.  She has continued to go through trial after trial and I yet she remains, but this experience change me forever.  I began to realize it isn’t just the fact that you serve the Lord that’s important; it’s the people you serve with.  I had already severed all ties with that church before my mother’s illness, but her refusal to separate herself from that place after the illness caused me to sever ties from my mother’s church as well.  I knew it was time to go my own way.

When I moved to Chicago in the summer of 2007, I was in need of a change and completely disillusioned.  I needed to be in a place that wasn’t so  hostile… where I could feel the love of family… where I could heal.  I needed “home”… but can you really ever go “home” again?

Well, suffice it to say that “home” wasn’t exactly the way I envisioned it, but it was a real education.  I’ve written about some of my experiences there in earlier blog posts… being hit by a car while walking across the street… the estrangement with my father and other members of my family…  my experience teaching… it wasn’t exactly the welcome I was hoping for, but I did learn how to manage myself.  I developed “equipoise”, a much needed state of equilibrium that taught me how to counter the extremes of that city, the experiences I’d had in the last 13 years of my life and the extremes in my faith… the differences between what the word of God says and the what I had experienced in today’s “New and Improved” Christianity.  In this very hostile environment, I found MY faith… my very own tried and true faith that has sustained me and has indeed, made me stronger.

At the beginning of this post, I defined “tempering” as, “to make stronger or more resilient through hardship, toughen.”  I can see with all certainty that I have been tempered.  What did not kill me, has indeed made me stronger and I will “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14)

The Mystery of the Seven Churches

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-dr-randy-s-woodley/native-american-christianity-through-bullets-and-arrows-to-peace_b_1826126.html?

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I've always believed that the way Christianity is expressed should reflect the people practicing it. Like the seven churches discussed in the book of Revelation (1:20), each church had a different character and a different angel over it and different strengths and weaknesses with Christ as the head, but they were all "the Church"... and it's no different today.

The above Huffington Post article by Dr. Randy S. Woodley is a deplorable example of what happens when we don't adhere to the teachings of Christ when sharing the Gospel.  He tells of atrocities committed on Native Americans by so-called "Christian" missionaries and pastors, who were more interested in promoting their culture than the teachings of Jesus.   As an African American with Native American ancestry, I am the product of two cultures that have suffer these atrocities by people who never intended to be "living epistles read of men" and I know that if our faith... the Christian faith... is going to continue, the atrocities must stop.  The world is fed up with it and more importantly, I believe God is too.  It is His responsibility to separate the wheat from the tares (Matt. 13:24-30), and practicing a eurocentric Christianity does not ensure that you are the wheat.

Whether we practice a more eurocentric Christianity (and even that's not all the same) or an ethnocentric Christianity (Christianity as interpreted by different cultures), what's most important is that we respect the Christ that's in each of us as believers, and give each other the room to grow in our faith... and learn from one another. If we are to truly be a body "fitly joined together, joint supplying joint", instead of the the self mutilating body we've become, we are going to have to live out Jesus' commandment... to love God with all our being, and to love our neighbor, each other, as our selves.

Book Review: "Jesus & Justice"

Jesus and Justice: Evangelicals, Race and American Politics
by Peter Heltzel
Yale Univ. Press, 2009

Jesus and Justice is a broad overview of the impact of Evangelicalism in American politics. Heltzel discusses how Evangelicalism went from being an "anti-slavery, anti-segregation, anti-racism, reconciliation movement seeking to bear witness for Christ through being a parable of the Kingdom of God” [p. 14] to the divisive, misogynistic, racially charged movement we see today, and attempts to chronicle its progression.

The book starts with the origins Evangelicalism. The term originates with Martin Luther in Germany and has a revivalist background. Evangelicalism calls its members to live out their faith, being active in social and political matters, in an effort to bring the Kingdom of God here on earth.

Heltzel goes on to describe how the culmination of faith and activism caused the revival at Kane Ridge, Kentucky in 1801, where a large group of black and white southern Evangelicals came together to repent for the sin of slavery. This is a unified Evangelical meeting which helped to spark the fire of Abolitionism in America. A fire which ultimate spread to provoked the Civil War.

Heltzel also discusses some of the contradictions that existed in early American Evangelicalism and persist to this day. He starts with the rise of a segregated Evangelicalism immediately after the revival at Kane Ridge and how it impacted American culture, particularly in the south. Heltzel goes on to discuss the racial and philosophical tensions that exist between white Evangelicalism, (i.e., Focus on the Family) and modern prophetic Black Christianity, which rose in response Evangelicalism’s segregationist practices. He also discusses why traditional white Evangelicalism and Prophetic Black Christianity have never been able to merge as one unified Evangelicalism, as it was in the beginning.

Heltzel ends the book on an up note, with the rise of Sojourners, a newly branded form of Evangelicalism which seems to shed the racism associated with "traditional" Evangelicalism and focus on reconciling Evangelicalism as one unified group. An Evangelicalism ready for the 21st century.

Evangelicalism historically, has always been a movement of political activism, encouraging its members to put their faith into practice and Heltzel does an excellent job synopsizing it’s influence on American culture. He also causes one to question Evangelicalism’s future, race relations in our nation, and why even with the rise of Sojourners, the following statement is still true:
"The decades before the civil war constitute, thus, not only the most intensely partisan period in American history but also the period in which theology was most directly applied to public issues. The only era that comes close is our own."
- Peter Heltzel
Jesus and Justice,( p. 8)

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Introducing Ikthos...

This is the first issue of Ikthos, a blog devoted to opening a discussion about what the word "Christian" means in today's society, and how New testament/New Covenant believers express their faith through art and culture.

The word "Christian" is being used a great deal today. But unfortunately, I believe it is being politicized. The word was first seen in the bible in Acts 11:26, which states that the disciples were first called "Christians" in Antioch. The term as stated in Acts, meant a follower of Christ, but does it still mean that today?

Somewhere along the way, the word "Christian" has come to mean membership in a group... the Christian Right... Evangelical.... the Christian Coalition.... Baptist.... Catholic... Pentacostal, etc., etc., etc. The list goes on and on. Each group has different leaders, different doctrines, some even have different days of worship (Saturday vs. Sunday). With all the differences and dogma and denominations, I believe it is imperative that we rethink how we use the word today. Not to associate with a particular group, but to truly be followers of Christ and Christ alone... as individuals, in our daily lives.

In this blog, I invite you to discuss what the word Christian means to you, individually... personally and how you express your faith artistically and culturally. I invite artists, musicians, teachers and those who want to impact society to please write and let me know how you feel your faith impacts your work, your art and your lives today.


Sincerely,

Felicia V. Gaddis

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